The Bathtub Diva Website

On the Home page of this site I have this lovely image of a pretty girl in the bathtub with a mobile tablet, HOWEVER! The Bathtub Diva does NOT recommend taking your mobile devices into the tub with you. Bad idea! For many reasons…the least being that it will distract you from the goodness of being quietly in your bath and the most being that they might fall into the tub with you! Which would cause great distress, not to mention perhaps electrocution…I know this because…One night my iPad took a bath! Oh NO!!!!!

Here’s the story

I wanted to see the final Sherlock on PBS in 2014 and had been looking forward to it. It would be a wonderful way to spend my tub time, relaxing in bubbles and watching a great show. I don’t usually watch movies in the bath because it’s distracting and defeats the purpose of  having some “Quiet Time”. However…..I made an exception this time because I had been looking forward to the show and always want to take a bath!

I Got Ready

To get set for the movie I placed the usual accoutrements on the vanity bench (leopard skin pattern, of course) by the tub; a coconut juice, a pineapple juice, a pumpkin facial mask, then I added the iPad and it was all SO PERFECT! It truly was.

Then I went to the faucets to turn off the water. I leaned over to adjust the faucets, and then somehow I knocked, with my derrière...the vanity bench! Good Lord! What the butt was I thinking???

The iPad Falls Into The Water

I was still facing the faucets and felt the vanity bench jiggle slightly. I was not concerned, it was a little jiggle (hey, we all got a little “jiggle”!), no big deal. But (BUTT) as (ass?) I turned around my eyes noticed something in the tub. For some inexplicable reason the iPad was nestled in the bubbles and slowly sinking into the water!

WHAT???????

W    H     A     T     ?????????????????????

The Moment of Disbelief

The sight of the iPad in the water was shocking enough to render me completely kerflumpt. I was dumb-founded; mouth agape, staring uncomprehendingly, not truly registering the dire situation. As in  – is this really happening ? ? ? ? ?  So incredibly surreal….One thing that you do not want to add to your bath recipe is an iPad…

ipad-falls-in-the-bathtub-diva

Save the iPad!  

Despite my disbelief my body kicked into gear and plunged it’s hands into the water to SAVE THE iPAD!!!! I grabbed it from the watery depths, (did not get electrocuted, did not even think about that) then got a towel and dried it off like it was a little baby and held it close to me saying, it’s ok, you’re gonna be ok, it’s just a little water, it’s ok, it’s ok it’s o o o o o o o o o k…

I stumbled around for a bit with my little baby iThingie – still in a state of shock/astonishment over the events of the last few moments.

The Aftermath

Here is how you realize you are NOT in control! I had been preparing for a lovely evening, the mood had been set, everything was in place, candles were lit, bubbles were brimming, everything was in order. The movie was cued up and all that was left to do was turn off the faucets and get in the warm bubbly tub and enjoy myself. Yet events dramatically changed course and Oh Damn Derrière! Oh Damn Un-Control of the Situation! Oh Damn You Universe for reminding me that I am not in control!

No really, this is a big LESSON! You are NOT in control! Weird stuff can happen to the best laid plans…what you do after is what’s important.

You might think you are in control going to the store to get your favorite pint of broccoli flavored, soy-bean, free-range, ice cream to eat in the tub, but you are are not! Well, not totally. You could get caught in a giant traffic snarl on the way back and your ice cream melts away! Or you could make it home fine only to accidentally knock the bowl of ice cream in the bath tub! Who knows??? So MyStErIouS. How you chose to deal with the lose of your “plans” is what’s important.

For a while I sat on the rug petting the iPad and pressing the HOME button – like maybe it was some kind of a joke, it was just fooling and it would come back on and we’d laugh and laugh. For a few moments after the drowning there were assorted grey lines across the screen, then, complete blackness into    The.   Heart.   Of.   Darkness. I could see water condensation under the screen. It’s really not good to see water under the screen.

Then I beat myself up for a few minutes (hey, why not?):  You DUMMY!!!! Rita, I can’t f****** BELIEVE you! How could you DO THAT????? etc…etc…but I grew quickly bored with that. I’ve had a lot of training y’know on how the “critic” wants to control you and make you miserable. Thank Gawd I quickly tire of that crap. It was just a crazy mishap due to my derrière and uncontrolled events! The iPad was gone. It was now a little dead thing in my arms. Sob.

The Enlightenment

Suddenly it all just seemed so incredibly ridiculous and pathetic that I started laughing. How absurd to be here moping when the water was still hot and full of bubbles! So I got my laptop, put it on the vanity bench – CAREFULLY. And then got in the tub and watched Sherlock on the laptop. It was a fabulous show.

The Big Butt Lesson

The big BUTT lesson I learned was DO NOT take your mobile devices into the tub /close with you – BUTT, if you do, have them secured at a save distance far from your derrière! Like, tape them to the table or whatever. Just be careful!

The PS and PPS

PS – The iPad was a goner (I put in in rice and tried to save it, but no, it was DOA…) and I wonder if my “secret mysterious message” from the Universe was about “letting go” and not beating myself up about the situation. So in that regard I did pretty well and which I applaud myself for! The Sherlock show was about MYSTERIES after all. Perhaps this is one of them….

PPS – I acted out the dire scene for my cousins and we just about died laughing. Because it really was hilarious…in HINDsight!

Have you had any awkward moments in or out of the tub like this? Do tell!