The Bathtub Diva Website

Here is a lovely image of a young woman in the bathtub with a mobile tablet. Despite how fun this looks, The Bathtub Diva does NOT recommend taking your mobile devices into the tub with you!

There are many reasons for that recommendation…one being that it will distract you from the goodness of being quiet in your bath and another reason is that they might fall into the tub with you! Which would cause great distress, not to mention perhaps electrocution (NEVER have a device plugged in next to the tub!)…

I know this because...One night my iPad took a bath!

Here’s the story

I wanted to see the final Sherlock on PBS in 2014 and had been looking forward to it. It would be a wonderful way to spend my tub time, relaxing in bubbles and watching a great show. I don’t usually watch movies in the bath because it’s distracting and defeats the purpose of  having some “Quiet Time”. However…..I made an exception this time because I had been looking forward to the show and I always want to take a bath, so it seemed like a WIN/WIN situation.

I Got Ready

To set up for the bath/movie I placed the usual accoutrements on the vanity bench by the tub; a coconut juice, a pineapple juice, a pumpkin facial mask, and then I added the iPad and it was all SO PERFECT! It truly was.

I had been running the bath water during this time and as I leaned over to turn off the faucets, I somehow knocked, with my derrière, the vanity bench! Good Lord! What the butt was I thinking???

The iPad Falls Into The Water

I was facing the faucets and felt the vanity bench jiggle slightly. I was not concerned, it was just a little jiggle. But (BUTT) as (ass?) I turned around my eyes noticed something in the tub. And there was my iPad serenely nestled in the bubbles slowly sinking into the water!


W    H     A     T     ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?

Shock & Disbelief

The sight of the iPad in the water was shocking enough to render me completely dumb-founded, staring uncomprehendingly, not truly registering the dire situation – was this really happening ? ? ? ? ?  Sadly, it was.

One thing that you do not want to add to your bath is your iPad…


Save the iPad!

I plunged my hands into the water to SAVE THE iPAD!!!! I grabbed it from the watery depths then got a towel and dried it off like it was a little baby. I held it close to me saying, it’s ok, you’re gonna be ok, it’s just a little water, it’s ok, it’s ok it’s o o o o o o o o o k…

I stumbled around with my little baby iThingie – still in a state of shock over the events of the last few moments.

For a while I sat on the rug in the living room petting the iPad and pressing the HOME button – like maybe it was some kind of a joke, it was just fooling and it would come back on and we’d laugh and laugh. For a few moments after the drowning there were assorted grey lines across the screen, then, complete blackness into

The.   Heart.   Of.   Darkness.

I could see water condensation under the dark screen. It’s not good to see water under the screen.

Then I beat myself up for a few minutes (hey, why not?):  You DUMMY!!!! I can’t f****** BELIEVE you! How could you DO THAT????? etc…etc…but I grew quickly bored with that. I’ve worked a lot at how “the inner critic” wants to make you miserable and basically pound the snot out of you for things you can’t change or have no control over. Has that ever happened to you? Yucky isn’t it? That critic sucks.

Truth is, it was just a crazy mishap due to my uncontrollable derrière.

As I sat there forlornly with my little dead iPad in my arms it suddenly all seemed so incredibly ridiculous and pathetic that I started laughing. Wow, what an incredible turn of events! And how absurd to be here moping when the water was still hot and full of bubbles. So I got my laptop, put that on the vanity bench – CAREFULLY – then got in the tub and happily watched Sherlock amidst the bubbles sipping on pineapple juice and feeling grateful for the moment.

The Aftermath: Disaster can happen to the best laid plans…what you do after is what’s important.

I had been preparing for a lovely evening, the mood had been set, everything was in place, candles were lit, bubbles were brimming, everything was in order. The movie was cued up and all that was left to do was turn off the faucets and get in the warm bubbly tub and enjoy myself. Yet events dramatically changed course and Oh Damn Derrière! Oh Damn Un-Control of the Situation! Oh Damn You Universe for reminding me that I am not in control!

You might think you are in control going to the store to get your favorite pint of broccoli flavored, soy-bean, free-range, ice cream to eat in the tub, but you are are not! You could get caught in a giant traffic snarl on the way back and your ice cream melts away! Or you could make it home fine only to accidentally knock the bowl of ice cream in the bath tub! Who knows??? So MyStErIouS. How you chose to deal with the demise of your “best laid plans” is what’s important.

You can beat yourself up or learn from it and move on. When mistakes happen you can choose to be kind to yourself y’know.

The Big Butt Lesson

The big lesson I learned was DO NOT place your devices in harms way – BUTT, if you do, have them secured at a safe distance far, far away from your derrière! Tape them to the vanity or whatever. Just be careful!

The PS and PPS

PS – The iPad was a goner. I put in in rice and tried to save it, but it was DOA…I wonder if my “secret mysterious message” from the Universe was about “letting go” and not beating myself up about what happened? So in that regard I did pretty well and which I applaud myself for! The Sherlock show is about MYSTERIES after all. Perhaps this is one of them?

PPS – I acted out the dire scene for my cousins and we just about died laughing. Because, in HINDsight, it really was hilarious.

Have you had any awkward moments in or out of the tub like this? Do tell!